Articles Tagged with divorce

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Not surprisingly, criminal acts of domestic violence by one spouse toward another frequently result in the filing of a divorce. In addition, frequently victims of domestic violence will seek a temporary restraining order and a permanent injunction to prevent the abusive spouse from having contact with the abused party or even with the children. Whether you are the alleged victim or the alleged abuser, there are strategy considerations to consider in deciding how to deal with this emotional and sometimes dangerous situation.

First, both parties should understand that a domestic violence accusation complicates a divorce case in several ways. If a restraining/injunction is granted, this means that the parties will not be able to have any contact without a specific exception from the court for divorce related issues. These exceptions may not be granted, particularly if the court has reason to believe that one party may be endangered. This means all efforts to pay bills, get kids to school or daycare, attend medical appointments, address holidays, etc may fall to the spouse who has placement. Both sides under these circumstances are well advised to retain a lawyer to try to obtain court orders that work around the impediments a no contact order can cause.

If a criminal case is going on at the same time as the divorce, the judge in the criminal case may impose his own no contact order as a condition of release on bail, which overrides any other court order in the divorce. Again, having a lawyer, preferably the same lawyer for the divorce and the criminal matter, is essential to coordinating the criminal and the family law courts. If both sides have attorneys, sometimes it is possible to negotiate a temporary order in a divorce that makes an injunction unnecessary or allows a criminal court judge to feel comfortable relaxing a no contact order in the criminal case. Sometimes, having absolutely no contact is not what the victim really wants and instead just wants the violence to stop and the spouse to get help. While that result seems reasonable on the surface, there are several possible impediments to such a resolution and having reasonable lawyers on both sides will increase the odds of a rationale result in all forums.

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Divorce is a painful and difficult process. Obviously, if the parties were getting along and communicating well, they wouldn’t be getting divorced in the first place. It’s the communication process that makes a good lawyer so critical in a divorce matter. You want to hire an attorney that demonstrates excellent communication skills to assist you in persuasively advancing your position, not only in court but also in negotiations with the other side.

The best divorce lawyers are able to argue a position without seeming argumentative. Seems counter-intuitive, doesn’t it? However, the divorce process is emotional. The parties typically feel anger, resentment, failure and a fear of the future. The job of the lawyer is to take the emotion out of the analysis. It doesn’t help to make the situation worse by being argumentative with the other side. Some people feel that the best divorce lawyer is the one that yells the loudest or refuses to concede any point, no matter how illogical. However, courts and other attorneys on a case tend to ignore those lawyers that blindly advocate a position, regardless of how irrational it is.

When interviewing an attorney, assess his ability to listen, to assess your problem(s) and to offer reasonable solutions you may not have considered. Most divorce cases ultimately resolve by agreement rather than by going to trial. Trials are expensive and can have an uncertain result. Your lawyer should have the ability to propose a reasonable result that gets you most of the things that are important to you while conceding the points that are less important in the interests of allowing you to move forward with your life.